Let’s face it, cougars.  There are a lot of cubs out there, some not worth the time and trouble of pursuing, much less catching.  Not only that, but you also have the concern of other felines out there on the prowl catching up to you and your own prey.  There must be some rules to getting and keeping what is yours.  The truth is, there are, and what follows are a few of the most important etiquette points to live by.

*  Don’t dress like you’re twenty.  After all, you’re not.  Don’t dress like the twenty-year-olds do today or even when you were twenty.  Either way, it will make you look like you’re twice your age.  The truth of the matter is that your figure is probably distributed differently than when you were twenty.  Why not show it off for what it is and not for where it was.

*  Don’t worry about the Kardashians, or even keeping up with them.  Simply put, you’re you, and not somebody else.  And here’s another big news flash: The cub you’re after is probably interested in you because of you, not because you’re trying to be someone younger or better.  When you go out with your cub, play the music you like.  See a movie you will enjoy.  Have dinner at a place someone of your level would appreciate.  Show him some culture, not pop culture.

*  Don’t party like you’re twenty.  By the time a cougar is at the age of being a cougar, she should know better than to party like she did when she was twenty.  And really, how much fun was it to drink all night and spend the next morning praying to the porcelain God?  Instead, why not go out and do something a little more sophisticated?  Isn’t that why he’s dating you?

*  Don’t mother him.  Don’t fix his tie.  Don’t wipe his mouth.  Don’t correct him in front of others.  After all, if he wanted to date his mother, he would.

*  Don’t pay for everything.  After all, he might be younger, but he’s still a man.

*  Don’t be the boss in bed.  He might not know much about what’s doing–or at least as much as you do–but don’t remind him of it.  Make it fun, not an act of charity.

*  Don’t talk about your accomplishments, sexual or otherwise.  You might have had significantly more than he has, but don’t enumerate them.  Careful with the guy’s ego.

*  But don’t downplay them either.  There’s a good chance that he would like to learn something from your “accomplishments,” but don’t heap them on him at once.  Teach him, but give him time to learn.

*  Don’t be catty with younger women.  Kathy Bates was right in Steel Magnolias.  Age does have advantages.  Use them.

Not only is it nice to be a cougar, but it can be fun.  Enjoy the advantages while you’ve got them.


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